Post Four Five

Hey there party people.

I know...where the heck have you been Karr Max? Well I've been here....just in a funk I guess. This is one hectic year. Job is busy, babies....well, that's enough isn't it?

Oh the babies....they are doing very well. They're healthy and they smile and make noise and love to bounce...I'd say for having no skills whatsoever, no money, no control of their own bodily functions, they're pretty happy, BUT....they are so darned cranky....I mean, I get it, they are unable to speak, crawl, walk, eat solid food, drink wine...this all has to be very unsettling. If they are anything like me, which, from the looks of things, at least ONE of them is, then I'd say I'd be pretty PEE-OH'd myself. I mean, if you can't get up, grab a bite, have a drink, walk away, or even crawl away, then anything that bugs you you'd just have to deal with, and for someone with absolutely no patience whatsoever, like yours truly, then I'd just have to resort to yelling and screaming and crying, which is what the girls do (I think I actually do that now....hmmmmm) So it makes sense, at least, but it's hard on the Mom Unit...and when things are hard on the Mom Unit, then things get hard on the Dad Unit, and when things get hard on the Mom Unit, the Dad Unit gets mad.

So....its obvious that these girls MUST PAY!



Look how cute those devils are. They're lucky they're cute, I mean, if they were ugly babies, then I'd be inclined to be extremely upset with their poor behavior of late. But jeez....how can you be mad at that? Well, I mean, for a long time....

We've had some interesting developments over the last few weeks. You know, we took the girls down to San Antonio (HUGE mistake) and Maddie ended up with this Turbo Diaper Rash from all the bad poos she was having....well, Dr. HarperValleyPTA (our pediatrician who was also Kelli's pediatrician (you know Kelli's only 16, right?)) ordered a Poo Test to make sure Maddie didn't have something bad...well, she passed the test...her poo tested positive for SALMONELLA POISONING. Yes, she caught a salmonella. I don't know how, because she doesn't even eat salmon (ba dump buh!). So that was a shock....this is a very bad thing for babies, but evidently Maddie is such a TOTAL BAD ARSE that she totally defeated the Salmonella. The doc said that babies with Salmonella typically go to the hospital. Not Maddie...the kid is the Titanic! Strong as a bull. We think she may have gotten it from sitting in those nasty high chairs they had in the restaurants in San Antonio. I dunno....but last week K-Pud got a call from the County Health Department about it. They gave Kelli the 3rd degree...asking her all these questions (No we don't feed her very much poop. Yes she gets a bath once a month.) But Kelli did mention that we took them to the Riverwalk and the lady asked if we let the girls swim in the River. (!!!) Well of course we did ding-dong...everyone swims at the Riverwalk (talk about NASTY....can you imagine?) I wouldn't even touch a boat that had been in that nasty water.

So....we've been poisoned. But you know, people, you can bury us in dirty diapers, you can deprive us of sex, I mean, sleep, you can make us gain weight and lose it (Kelli) or keep it (me), you can make us live in a skunk-infested dirt farm, you can send us hospital bills that would hairlip Donald Trump, you can make us change jobs, move into a new house, you can turn my hair grey, and you can FRIGGIN' POISON US, but you can't keep the Karr's down man....you can't keep us down. Because we get knocked down, then we get up again, y'ain't never gonna keep us down....(sorry for putting that song in your noggin). So you can try all you want...but you can't touch us (at least that's what I tell myself...every day).

Here's a pic of our extreme fightin' machine...


Bring on the PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So....what's up with you? Cool weather is on the way. I'm looking forward to that. You know, we got hosed on our vacation plans this year, well so far this year, and I'm thinking we need to at least take a ski trip up to Telluride. We went with the Beans a few years ago and it was fun. I think this time we'll fly...that drive was not comfortable...

Gotta run...I'll get better about the updates. Check back soon for more.....gotta get to work.

Adios.

Post 44 - Posted Sept 23 (not the 7th)

Hola Amoebas!

Just wanted to update you all on our Caribbean vacation. Here is the only picture I have.



You see....that's Hurricane Hanna (remember her?). Yes, our trip was cancelled. It was a bummer but probably a blessing in disguise because if we had gone ahead to Turks and Caicos, our destination, then we would have had to deal with Hurricane Ike as we left the week after Hanna.

It was a huge tra-la, indeed, but we purchased the trip insurance and will get all our money back less the $300 we paid in insurance....so all's not lost. I remember the night before we were supposed to leave I called the hotel we were supposed to be staying at and the front desk clerk, true to form, noted that the 50MPH winds weren't really that bad and that they'd get an update on the flooding on the island as soon as the power came back on at the hotel. :) Nice. Glad we missed it.

So, last weekend we decided we really needed to get away and decided to stay in one of the hotels my company owns on the Riverwalk. We drove on down to beautiful San Antonio and decided to take the "backroads" down....you know, it's our 10 days of autumn here in Texas and we thought it'd be a cool breezy drive through the Hill Country. Well, what I had imagined versus reality were a bit different. How's that? Well, you see, we have these two monkeys we drag with us wherever we go and they decided, about hour 2 of the 6 hour trip, that they had had ENOUGH of sitting in the car seats. Hey, I can't blame them. Sitting bassackwards in a bumpy Chevy Tahoe has gotta be a tad uncomfortable. So what better way to make Mom and Dad aware of your general displeasure than by crying and crying and crying, with a little poop-in-the-pants to spice it up?

Oh they really weren't that bad, but the trip took a little longer than we had imagined, and by the time we actually arrived in San Antonio, well, we were tired little puppies to say the least.

We did stop at a little town called Evant, Texas, and had a little Texas rest stop. Here are some pics from the road.


Here Boo decided she was going to drive the rest of the way, although I'm not sure she'd completely thought through the whole accelerator pedal problem and her 13" legs.


Here Maddie's decided that she can no longer wait for a bottle and has decided to eat her diaper. What a recycler! She's so green. (Yes, that's a quarter-pounder diaper my friends!)

So we had a great time in San Antonio...it was rather exhausting but no one fell in the river or actually expired during the trip so, by our count, it was a pretty good trip. The highlight of the trip for me was buying the girls Mexican dresses, renting a donkey,and taking pictures of the girls on donkeys with rifles in front of the Alamo. Well, we didn't really do that, but man I swear that would have been great! Maybe next year....when we decide on a place to go next year, we will have to Remember the Alamo.


Here they are in their Mexican dresses.....oh they are so cute.

So how's everything going with you? We're doing good....the girls are teething which is a joy, as those with kids can only know. Last week Boo poo'd so much from her teething that she got this super-bionic diaper rash that required doctor-prescribed ointment.

Which leads me to....why the heck don't they just sell this stuff over-the-counter? Is this ointment so powerful that it's not safe in the hands of the general public? If it were readily available to everyone without a prescription would we become lesser people or something? Is all the stuff that you can buy over-the-counter just ok enough that it MIGHT heal us, or to keep us in pain such that we just HAVE to call the doctor, incur a fee, so we can get this stuff?

I mean, I know, I'm not a rocket scientist but if they can sell SUPER GLUE over-the-counter, then why can't they sell diaper rash ointment the same way? I've never heard of anyone going to the hospital because they smeared diaper rash ointment on their privates or glued their fingers together with it (yes, I've done this (the finger gluing, smart-guy)). I mean, they sell GASOLINE without a prescription, and SUPER GLUE, and all other kinds of nasty stuff, but WHOA MAN....watch out....that's a tube of Mystatin Diaper Rash Ointment in your hands....I hope you're wearing a helmet and some eye protection. That's like holding a grenade! If that blows up on you, well, you may get rid of that rash, so BE CAREFUL!

Jeez....what's the deal with all these stupid rules?

Here's another stupid rule K-Petz and I talked about on the way to SA. (We talk a lot about rules because I don't particularly enjoy following rules and she thinks I should follow them....more on that in a sec). Here's a stupid rule....why do I have to wear a seat belt in my big car yet motorcycle riders don't have to wear helmets? They don't even wear seat belts....hell they don't even have a dress code (which for some folks might be a good idea). By the way, I strongly advocate wearing seat belts because, well, I'm trained as an engineer and I understand a concept called inertia, in that, once your car stops abruptly, the things inside it tend to keep going, such as, your head into the windshield, and a seat belt will keep your head from smashing into stuff (at least from the inside out).

Oh well....rules are meant to be broken...is what I say.

So, back to the update....

The girls are doing well. They will be crawling soon and I'm sure our house will turn into some sort of corral for wayward ponies looking thing, with gates and fences and all kinds of weird devices so babies can't stick their fingers in light sockets, etc. By the way, as a kid I don't think we had socket protector things and I never stuck my finger in light socket, mainly because THE SOCKET SLOTS ARE TOO SMALL FOR YOU TO GET YOUR FINGERS IN! I can tell that even without using a tape measure. But I know, you get cowed into buying all this plastic crap to stick all over your house and if you don't have it, well, everyone thinks you're too stupid or too poor or too careless to care about THE CHILDREN! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?

Personally I say it's ok for kids to experience life in its raw form, with sharp edges and hot things so they know not to jack with those things. Hey, the big silver thing with the pots and pans is scary because it's hot...maybe I should stay away from it....plus Daddy yells at me when I get near it :) This weekend Maddie took a header right into the corner of a metal edged tile-covered table. You know , the kind of corner where you'd look at it and think "Man that would hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks if someone smashed their very small forehead into it..." Well, we did that, and it was actually not that bad. Maddie screamed and everyone in the restaurant careened their heads over to look at us, but, hey, she was fine after about 5 minutes, and now has this sporty new red racing stripe on here forehead. It's very tricked out. I don't think she smashed her head into anything after that...at least the front of her head that is.

Oh well...better close. Hope you have a super day. Check out our sweet videos. We're on YouTube!

Post 43

Hola amigos.

What's up with you?

Not much at the House of Deuce. We are preparing for our vacation to UNNAMED CARIBBEAN ISLAND LOCATION and we're all getting excited. Boo and Maddie are really looking forward to going to a foreign territory and throwing up there. I can't blame them....they've thrown up on everything we have here, and they must be bored out of their throw-up litle minds. I'm excited for them too. I can't wait to see them throw up somewhere besides on me, the floor, Kelli, Grandma, or the couch. To think we opted out of leaving the living room floor all concrete and installing floor drains....dumb move on my part. I really think we could've dressed up a hose bibb in the living room.

We've all been sick this past week, and it's been tough. Kelli brought back some cooties from her trip to Sin City (insert awkward sex joke here) and decided to share them with the rest of Team Karr Max. So what that means is that little baby noses are full of snot and other nasty stuff to mix in with the disgusting drool/formula/other weird baby food shiny glossy beard that the girls sport all day, and is slowly sponged up by their cute little bibs they wear all day. Paints a picture doesn't it?

Oh well...poor little devils don't feel good, can't sleep because they can't breathe, and no one else can sleep because they can't, and we're all sick. I'm telling you, Mother Nature is a b*tch.

Once I felt it coming on....you know, the burning eyes, the aches....I started eating those zinc lozenges which, I must say, WORK, and you can tell they work because they taste like dogpoo. Well, I've never tasted it to know, but I can imagine they taste pretty similar.

Why can't they invent medicine that tastes good, or even has no taste at all? I mean, that's three options right there....tastes good, tastes like crap, or has no taste, and the medicine people consistently choose "tastes like crap" every time. I don't understand that. Do they do it so we won't walk around chowing down on medicine? I mean, they should actually WANT that to happen so they'd make more money. Wouldn't it be cool that if you got sick, you had to eat M&M's all day? "Oh crud, I'm sick, I better go to Sam's and buy the giant M&M's bag and get to it". That would be awesome. That's why it will never happen. They should make medicine that tastes like M&M's. Stupid medicine people.

SO, I think we're all starting to feel better today though. K-Dog went to the doctor today to get her meds, and because I ate the horrible zinc, my cold didn't last too long (plus I'm strong as a bull) and the girls are on some sort of medicine so I think we're all good. As long as the girls' Eustachian tubes are clear by flight time, I think we'll be fine (look it up).

So, better close for now...I know I promise to write more but I never do so...Maybe I'll stop promising and start delivering.

I hope you enjoy the picture below. (Yep, and we only THOUGHT we lost the label maker when we moved....IT'S BACK!).

Adios...

Post 42

Hey there!

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update as to the goings-on in Deuce Land. Everything is going pretty well. The girls are doing great and are just happy little monkeys.

Kelli is doing great, and got a new haircut yesterday. She is such a super-fox as I'm sure'd you'd agree.



I'm a lucky dude.

I'm busy with work and starting numerous projects here in the metroplex and Austin...it's tough getting debt for deals but not impossible. We're swamped and getting busier every day.

We're excited because in a few weeks we'll be taking a weeklong vacation to "a gentle beachy location" and I'm readying myself by going on a margarita fast until we get there. Should be fun. I'm also planning on being ripped for the vacation, so I've been doing some push-ups and toe-touches. Even jumping jacks. I know, I'm an animal. I hope I'm not mistaken for a lifeguard and I have to save someone...that would be embarrassing.

I've included some pics in a strip below of the girls. They are too cute. Right now the girls are really honing their numerous talents....Maddie is working on her frog-jump, where she leaps into the air out of her chair, bouncy, DJ-booth, etc....which is a lot of fun for Kelli and probably doesn't help Maddie's puke machine too much. Man that girl can throw up. She's like a sorority girl she pukes so much.

Boo Boo has lately been practicing her singing technique, which consists of laying in a chair like a lump of junk and squealing at the top of her lungs. She's not quite ready for American Idol yet, unless they start allowing car alarms or fire alarms into the competition...then she'd have a good shot. It's really quite ear-splitting, and I'm sure it hurts Maddie's giant ear.

The girls are getting BIG and have just now started eating meat....which is truly disgusting. Not like they're gnawing on a chicken bone, which might be fun to try...A few nights ago, Kelli whips out this baby food jar labeled "Meat"...Lord only knows what kind or what part of the animal it came from. Neither of the girls liked it, in fact, if the look on their faces were any indication, she may have been feeding them battery acid...man they hated it. I had a taste of it and, I'm telling you, it tasted like what you'd get if you took a roll of toilet paper, and boiled it in some old chicken broth and canned tuna juice, then cooled it off and grabbed a big spoonfull for yourself....HORRIBLE!

Don't these people taste this stuff? And for the record, don't ever eat "Meat" that is in a jar...it's generally a bad idea. In a can is also bad, but in a jar is so terrible...like I want to see this stuff in a glass jar!

So, we're vegetarian babies for now...I can't let my kids eat that meat stuff...the vegetables are bad enough. For some reason, baby food tastes like throw up to me...blecchh...babies are gross.

So, enough ranting for now. I need to go grab a bite to eat because I'm ripped now. My atheltic body requires high-octane fuel, you see.

Anywho....better get back to work...I will try to keep up the blog a little better than I have....well maybe a lot better.

See ya.

www.flickr.com

Post 41

Well folks....how the hell are you today?

I'm doing pretty well. Today is June 26, 2008. On this day 38 years ago, I was born to my wonderful mother Patricia and my father, Jerry. I was their first child of two, and I would imagine was a pretty big shock to the entire familial stasis at the time. If you don't know what familial stasis means, well, you'll have to look it up in your Funk & Wagnall's.

Today I'm going to diverge from my normal update on the girls, Kelli, et al, coupled with random musings from an overstimulated and emotionally underdeveloped dude and launch into a concept I like to call "Letter to Boo and Mad Dog" or "Some Things I Have Learned in the 38 Years I Have Lived". Should be interesting. The thought being that they, or someone who knows how to read aloud, can read this and either understand or convey my understanding of some life lessons I'd like to think I have learned and/or are still learning.

As for a quick update before I begin, the girls are doing very well, are making funny noises, are starting to recognize each other, can roll over, are eating food that looks like ABC food (already been chewed), and officially know how to splash in the baby pool. This is big news! Kelli is doing well, is still hot, wears those nutty Spalding-from-Caddyshack madras shorts, and is the love of my life.

So....let's begin. Some of these are a bit "stream of consciousness" but are pretty good.... and knowing all this only took me 38 years....not too bad.

Some Things I'd Like Boo and Mad Dog to Know In Lieu of Having to Learn Them on Their Own:

1. Some things you just have to learn on your own. To that, sometimes you just have to break stuff so you'll know what not to do next time, and you'll know how to fix it when you DO do it the next time. You may need a diagram for this. See me for further explication. The point is....if things aren't getting broken, then you're not doing enough stuff.

2. Love God and fear God. Follow the rules in the Bible and you will be fine. The weird rules in the Old Testament are just that...weird, and are meant to show that God wants you to be respectful of His rules and the rules of others. All that weird cloven-hoofed animals stuff and other Leviticus stuff is just weird. Read it, understand it, and move on. Be a good Christian even when you don't want to be. It's generally a good policy. Pray a lot too. When in doubt....pray.

3. Tell the people that you love that you love them, and tell them even when it seems awkward or weird to say it.

4. Girls like hugs, and guys don't like hugs as much as girls do. Many guys like to get hugs from girls so they can be closer to their girl parts...and smart girls know this. You should know this.

5. Most people are generally good, and you should always give people the benefit of the doubt...I don't really understand what "the benefit of the doubt" means...I guess you are doubting that said person is as rotten as they have been portrayed to be, thus granting them a benefit of your own doubt...I don't know....it's a weird saying. Just remember, people, generally, are good...they start off good, and pick up some stuff along life's highway, but remember that at the core, they are good. It's good to help them remember that you think this about them.

6. You don't have to know everything to get along in life, but you do need to know who to call or where to look if you don't know something and you need to know it. To that, maintain relationships with people you meet along the way.

7. Be respectful of all people, especially those that may be more timid or less outgoing than you are. Remember, a closed mouth is usually the sign of an active mind...or it may be the sign of that they are eating....or both. It's your call here.

8. Listen very carefully to people so you can understand. Pay attention to those who are speaking to you and understand them best you can. If you don't understand, ask questions. If you disagree, you mustn't always reveal this at the time you think it. Sometimes it is required, as in when you encounter a giant load of bullsh*t, but generally you should listen, think, process, then maybe speak...but always think and seek to understand.

9. Become adept at remembering people's names. Learn the tricks early and become good at it.

10. Always keep a few hundred bucks in cash hidden somewhere in your house. Also keep a spare $50 bill in your purse and in your car. When you're in a bind, you can generally buy your way out of it, but if you're cashless....you may be out of luck. Don't always use cash, but have it around in case of an emergency....

11. Don't loan more than $100 to a friend. Any loan to a friend you must assume is money you have thrown in the trash, because when you're friend fails to pay you back, well, just forgive the debt and keep the friend. It's a good investment.

12. Save 10% of what you make. Pay yourself first, then everyone else second. You earned it, so keep some of it. This is probably the single most important lesson you can learn.

13. Read more than you watch television...and don't just read fiction...read magazines, biographies, etc. You can learn a lot from printed words.

14. Don't dress like a slob, and don't go a day without a shower unless you are camping or marooned on an island or something. When you dress like a slob, people will assume you are a slob, and you don't want people thinking you are a slob. Look nice and smell nice and you have half the battle won.

15. 75% of everything is just showing up. This sounds silly, I know, but remember, there are a lot of hard things that must be done in your life, and for the most part, you won't know exactly how to do them or deal with them, and this will exert a tremendous force on you to not attempt them. Just remember, you can figure it out once you get there....but at least get there. Show up...this is vitally important. Just show up.

16. School isn't everything, and grades aren't everything either. Yes, it is desirable to have a good high school academic record that you can use to get yourself into a good college, but don't let the chase for good grades rule your childhood. Get good enough grades, and make a lot of friends, do a lot of fun things, and learn how to be a good person, not just a good student. There are a number of guys in my engineering school in college who were great at calculus, thermodynamics, and other generally nerdy subjects and had very high grade point averages, but never had fun, never learned how to socialize, and never learned how to relate to different kinds of people. Today these guys are still unable to relate to people...and this is the skill most crucial for success after college. Not one person ever in my business relationships ever asked me what kind of grades I made in college....not one. It's irrelevant.

...now if you decide to go to graduate school, well, you need to have good undergraduate grades but I digress....you get the point.

17. Learn a trade or some skill that you can do well to earn money. I learned how to make cabinets when I dropped out of college...this has turned out to be a very handy skill. I will never forget how to do this, and if the world decides it doesn't need real estate guys, well, I can go make cabinets. Learn a "hard" skill...just in case.

18. Don't listen to music that is very very loud. When I was a kid I was told that if I listened to loud music in my earphones for a prolonged period of time I would experience hearing loss. I thought it wouldn't happen to me. I was wrong...and they were right. Which leads me to...

19. Listen to authority, but don't always follow it. Half the time authority figures are truly looking out for you and are imparting advice that is generally helpful...and half the time they have hidden agendas and are manipulating you towards an end they desire. Understanding this is key....figuring out whether what you're hearing is BS or not, well, that's the trick.

20. Always allow someone a way out of an argument, and allow them to save face. Don't corner someone during an argument blocking an avenue for them to gracefully admit fault and save face. Think of how you'd feel if you were wrong and weren't allowed to gracefully admit you were wrong and to get out of the argument with your scalp (if you are having trouble imagining what it's like to be wrong, well, come see me...I'm wrong a lot).

21. Serve people, and give more than you receive. God has put you here for a reason, and only when you serve others and give to others will you understand that reason.

22. Don't curse....a lot. Using curse words shows a lack of intellect and lack of vocabulary. As a father to you two girls, I'd hate for you to use coarse language, but I know it's not all unicorns and rainbows out there. Only use coarse language for effect. Casual use of coarse language dilutes its power, and makes you look like a nasty dope.

23. Don't speed in your car. Going 10 miles per hour faster than everyone else doesn't really get you anywhere and is only frustrating for you having to dodge everyone in traffic which is very dangerous to you and to others. Mathematically, you'd have to drive a full hour to gain that extra 10 miles in distance...and being somewhere 2-3 minutes before you would have arrived had you not sped is hardly worth endangering yourself and others, and is definitely not worth a $400 speeding ticket. For a $400 ticket to make sense (incurring this cost to save yourself 3 minutes) you'd have to make over $8,000 per hour...which equates to roughly $21-million annually...and if you make this much, well, you better have someone else drive you around because your time is better spent doing something else besides driving.

24. Don't be afraid of failure, but be afraid of not learning from your mistakes. The only way to learn is to do things you don't know how to do, which usually results in mistakes being made (because you don't know what you're doing, remember?). Know how to recover from your mistakes, and move on. If you've made a mistake, well, you're growing...and once you've made a mistake, realize it, admit it, seek to understand why you made it, and get back to it. The worst thing you can possibly do is nothing. Doing nothing because you are afraid of failing is to suffer a slow death.

25. It's not the destination, but the journey. Don't get so focused on a goal that you don't enjoy the things you will experience on the way to realizing your goal....because by the time you get to your goal, you will have set newer ones, which will sour the sweetness of achieving that first goal... This is not such a bad thing, but it cements the idea that it's all about what you see along the way...and not just the destination....

26. Take pictures...lots of pictures.

27. Don't focus on the money, but do focus on doing what you love. I have the privilege of doing what I love to do...and it beats the money everyday.

Well....that's it. I'm sure there are many more where that came from, but, frankly, I've got to go get a haircut.

28. Don't delay getting a haircut. If you think you need one, then go get one.

See ya.





Ground Control to Major Tom, prepare for liftoff. Whatever you do, DO NOT pull on the fluffy green frog.

Post 40

Well folks...what's the dealio with you?

I'm just sitting here in my office on the 18th floor of Galleria Tower III, overlooking the lemmings driving to work in their "shiny metal boxes" (sorry, I had the Police on the iPod this a.m.) and, after having read a very nice comment from my old RRHS friend Nancy Lively regarding the blog and the monsters, I thought I'd "put out some more product" so you all would have something to read besides the stupid newspaper, Sodoku (I guess that's how you spell it), or one of the internets.

You see I'm supposed to be reading comments from our attorneys on a contract for (insert boring and esoteric real estate topic here) but I've decided to get hopped up on Starbuck's (Italian Roast is delicious, even though it's not freshly ground) and write a blog post, ie, the crazy ramblings of a dude with collar points in his shirt whose ADHD meds haven't kicked in yet this morning. I don't know if it's the approaching very scary-looking weather which, for some reason, makes everyone hyper, including me, or the fact that everyone's on vacation today but me, and, well, these Baker Botts comments (all 40 pages) don't seem to be an extremely compelling use of my time right now...I must say that if I made $850 per hour (yes that's what the lawyers make) I'd probably NOT be writing this but would be reading THAT.

But............let's roll into this.

So how's it going?

Everything's good here. Kelli's doing great, and her hair seems to be leaving her scalp at an ever-decreasing rate versus its previous rate of departure which was borderline Chernobyl-victim'ish. I know she (really me) is thankful for that. Like I've said in previous posts, hormones, to me, are the breath of God, and they control everything, and, like they say in El Buen Libro, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and I guess that goes for hair too. Thanks Uncle Hormones for stopping the "taketh away".

Speaking of hair, the girls are finally growing some hair, as the Big Man I suppose is in "giveth" mode right now (mainly because he’s already done some takething as the Deuce both have some wicked bald spots from lying around doing nuthin’). I’m glad to see it, and it was really just a matter of time, in that the Big Hair genes are definitely present in my own gene pool. In fact, my hair is what I’d call “aggressive” in that I have the opposite of a “receding” hair line…my hair line is actually “encroaching” or maybe even “invading”. I’m not sure that “encroach” or “invade” are truly the best antonyms for “recede” but again, coupled with its aggressive nature, these words certainly send the right message. My hair actually grows down onto my forehead towards my eyes, so, I suppose, eventually, if left unchecked, I’d be a Sasquatch, at least the face part anyway…I guess I’d be a face Sasquatch. No, I don't mean it just grows long and covers my forehead, I mean on some mornings, I get up and actually no kidding have a new hair that's sticking out of the middle of my forehead, and it's an inch long or more! Yes, I’m a disgusting animal, I know.

So the girls shouldn’t have any trouble growing a bunch of hair, in that I have hair, and Kelli has hair too, so, I mean, we’re not launching rockets over here…the girls should be ok for hair.

Now as for personality…well, that goes without saying. They already have that…speaking of which, our little Mad Dog, and it turns out that nickname is quite appropriate for our young Skywalker, has quite a temper, and, it seems, is quite clever in combining all the required ingredients for a “temper tantrum” (or what we lovingly call a “bitch fit”) those being the lip pout, sad eyes, cry, feet kick, and hand pump…and yes, I’ve seen the video and it wasn’t pretty. Kelli said she had to smack her little diaper-covered micro-butt with a flyswatter (yes, we are very classy people as we keep a flyswatter in the living room….) to keep her in check, which, of course didn’t work as our monsters have about 5 active brain functions, understanding remorse after being punished NOT being 1 of the 5. So, point being, Mad Dog is showing herself to be, as Kelli so aptly put it last night over our dinner of Fritos, beer, and a cookie, “clever, impatient, and high maintenance…just like her Dad”. But of course!

What? You’ve never enjoyed the culinary delights of Fritos, Shiner Bock, and a cookie for dinner? Well….come over any time. We call it the Carnival Diet, for obvious reasons, and I’m sure those “Mothers of Multiples” reading this can attest, is quite common amongst the “dually-childrened”. We’re saving up some dough for a Cotton Candy machine next month.

Anywho…the girls are doing great. Maddie has learned to roll over, which is great and fun to watch, that is, until she gets extremely annoyed that it’s rather boring lying on her stomach and having to hold up her giant head. Boo, I don’t think, is quite ready to roll over, but she’s mastered the lay-down, and really doesn’t mind being on her tummy either, even though her head probably weighs as much as the remainder of her body. My Granny Karr cemented it when she declared, upon first seeing Boo, “that’s definitely a Karr head”. So, there you have it…she has a Karr head. Poor monkey.

…and yes they are sleeping….

They hit the sack about 7:30 (in the P.M.) and wake up around 7:00 (in the A.M.) and don’t really quite go nuts in the middle of the night like they used to. This is WONDERFUL! I hear they are pretty well behaved during the day, except for Mad Dog being a grumpy pants. Boo Boo is just a happy little monster, until it’s time to go to sleep, at which point the sky opens up and Satan flies down and takes over her body for an hour or so….then Satan gets tired, drops his pacifier, and succumbs to the soothing sounds of Beethoven emanating from the “crazy-ass” mobile that hangs above Boo’s crib (aka, the House of Pain). Well, she sure looks like a sweet girl when she’s laying there asleep…poor little Boo.

I wonder if electronic beeps and bonks in the form of Beethoven played on a $5 Casio keyboard being heard through a $2 tinny speaker continuously for 10 hours a day is going to warp their little brains?

I guess we’ll find out…cuz if it helps them sleep…well….I’m all over it.

Ok….time to get to work....and no I'm still not going to read those lawyer comments. Maybe I'll see something shiny and can stare at it for a few minutes...(come on Aderrall....kick it in).

Thanks for stopping by. See you next time.

Post 39 (or something like that)

LOOKING FOR WORK!





Attention:





We have decided to put Boo to work. She has absolutley no marketable skills, besides looking cute, however, if you need a very short person, say 28” high, who doesn’t know how to talk, stand, keep drool in her mouth, or feed herself, but farts a lot and owns her own welding goggles, please let me know. Boo Boo may be able to help.