Post 21

Hey there!

Just thought I'd drop everyone a line to let you know what's going down here at the PP, Tower B, Room 354...also known as the Dirt Farm, Plano branch.

Today Kelli had a new sonogram done by Dr. Albert, the high-risk OB, and her cervix is still shortening, but it's becoming less of an issue because the girls keep growing, and she isn't experiencing contractions of any meaningful duration (they have to be over 40 seconds in duration to be considered a true contraction, and right now they're about 20 seconds, and only hit every few hours). Today the girls weigh in at 4lbs 10oz, and the other is at 4lbs 1oz. By the way, I have no idea how they determine their weights, but I blindly accept this information like it's true. Who knows? Bottom line, the Deuce are doing well and so is Kelli.

Eventually, if we keep going down this very pleasant path, then the girls will have grown too large for the cervix shortening to be an issue, and Kelli may be allowed to return to the Dirt Farm.

Evidently the bedrest is working, and more likely, the tremendous amount of kind thoughts and prayers being sent our way is working....and for that, we thank everyone!

So...for us, it's a process. Charlie is with his Aunt Derrel, which I am sure he's loving every minute of as he is treated like the King of All There Ever Was and Ever Will Be. Derrel is the greatest!

I have been appointed Interim Head of Dirt Farm Operations in Kelli's absence. I've managed to put away all the Christmas stuff, done all the laundry, cleaned all the rooms, cleaned out the frig, gone grocery shopping, and made Kelli a few dinners. Like I said in an earlier post...this is great training for when the Deuce make it into our little world. The ol' place is lonely without my two favorite peeps, but hey, it's a process, and a temporary one at that.

So far we've had soooo many people come up to the hospital that it's been great for Kelli and for me too! We had Christmas early up here with Kelli's family, and we had our own little Christmas up here together. Santa found us, even in the hospital. So many of Kelli's friends have come up to see her, and we've been bribing the nurses with food to keep them on our good side. We seem to be the floor favorites, but I'm sure that's only because we're about the only risk-free set of babies on the floor. They say the mood up here is generally good for all the families up here, but when it's bad...it's really bad. Please say a prayer for the families up here who have it so much harder than we do. I think they're about 20 or so families on the high-risk OB floor here at the PP.

Thanks for all the wonderful visits, cards, emails, calls, and prayers. We are blessed beyond what we deserve.

Better close for now....I will keep this updated more often in light of present circumstances. We should know more about our status here on Monday, when Kelli sees Dr. G.

Thanks for stopping by.

Post 20

Just thought we'd include a video we made here while on bedrest.

Now what are we going to do?

All is well here.

Post 19

Merry Christmas!

We've got new digs!

Exciting news....we have moved to Plano! Plano Presbyterian Hospital that is...

I know...but Kelli is really doing well, is in no pain, and is resting, resting, resting.

Here's the story.

She has been on home bedrest since December 11 (yes, that's her birthday) and last Thursday, at 1pm, we went to see her doctor for our weekly sonogram of the Deuce and to check the K-Pod out.

Last time we went, on the 11th, the doctor saw that her cervix was shortening and put her on immediate bedrest. The idea being that laying down all the time reduces gravity's pull of the Deuce on the cervix, thus, slowing down the shortening of the cervix and generally discouraging the Deuce from wanting to come out. Fairly simple really...go horizontal to keep them from coming out.

So, we went back last Thursday to check out the cervix, and theoretically, the cervix should have stopped shortening being that the Duece were no longer being pulled downward (bedrest=Kelli is horizontal). Well guess what? The cervix had actually continued to shorten (from 17cm to 12cm) quite a bit. What this means is that for some reason, her body is wanting to give birth (well there ARE over 8lbs worth of babies in there), so she needs to be in a hospital under strict observation, rather than being stuck out at the Dirt Farm.

This is smart thinking.

So...the doctors had initially predicted we would be here for about 6 weeks, which is a long long time, however, after her last appointment with the high-risk OB, it turns out we should be expecting the Deuce around the first or second week of January.

So....the Deuce are set to arrive around January 6 or shortly thereafter.

We are very excited as you can imagine.

Some info:

We are at Plano Presbyterian Hospital at Parker and the Dallas North Tollway, in Room 355. The phone number to the room is 972-981-7355, and Kelli is here all day and all night. Visiting Hours are 11:30am to 9:30pm.

Kelli is not on strict bedrest, which means she can get up and go to the potty and can take a shower but that is about it!

This is tremendous...and I will tell you, we have gained some perspective since we "checked in".

On Thursday night, our first night here, Kelli's sister Terri was up here with her husband John and son Chandler, and we boys decided to go have a look at some of the new babies in "The Fishbowl". We walked up as two twin girls were just coming in (they had been born 10 minutes before, so they were right out of the oven). The mother who had just given birth to them HAD BEEN ON BEDREST FOR 26 WEEKS!!!!!

That's right kids, that's 6 1/2 months.

...and check this out....the babies that were born on Thursday night had the EXACT SAME NAMES AS THE DEUCE! Can you believe that? Who would have imagined two sets of twins in the same hospital both named Han Solo and Chewbacca? We may have to think about some different names.

Most of the people on the floor have been here for many many weeks and/or months...so we are the easy cheesey folks on the floor. There are about 12 women here on bedrest.

...and we received some great news Friday...the high-risk OB saw the Deuce practicing their breathing on the sono, and even made Baby A kick, and rubbed her back and made her stretch out...all very good signs. He said that if they popped out today, there would be a 98% chance that they'd be fine and wouldn't have to go to the neonatal ICU, which is HUGE NEWS!

So...we are on the right track here. Keep those good thoughts and prayers coming. Things are very positive and Kelli is in very high spirits.

We have been doing our best to make this place feel like home for K-Pac. We have two Christmas trees in the room (one is a real tree and the other is bright silver with red balls), and we also have Santa stockings up and a big red ribbon on the door. All thanks to Kelli's family...they are so so so sweet to us.

Today we had Christmas with her family, and had a big Christmas dinner and watched home movies...and had a beer too (don't tell the nurses). So far it's been pretty good...and most importantly, Kelli is doing really well and the babies are doing really well too.

So that's it...not too much funny stuff this time around, but we wanted to keep everyone updated as to what was going on on our little world.

Again, thanks for the kind thoughts and prayers being sent our way....God has truly blessed our little family, and I hope yours is too.

Merry Christmas!

...and now for some fun pics...

We miss our little Charlie dog. Luckily Aunt Derrel has him and I'm sure he's being spoiled.

Kelli's doing pretty well in her new home.

John and Terri at our Christmas dinner. We had fun!

Thanks for stopping by.

Post 18

"I can't lay all the way back when I'm burping, dear, because it makes me want to throw up"

Shakespeare? No.
Part of a sonnet by Yeats? No.
The sweet musical stylings of Def Leppard? No.

The cooing of my pregnant wife while she struggles through Day 6 of bed rest? Why yes indeed.

That's right folks! Kelli is on BED REST....and yes, it's so tough on my K-Ped.

...and I'm not talking about just-sit-around-and-watch-tv Bed Rest...I mean, it's TOTAL BED REST. Full horizontal...laying down...only up for pee and feeding.

Actually, Kelli is doing fine, it's just that her cervix is shortening (it's called "funnelling") not effacing, which is when your cervix becomes thinner ( I know...I don't even know what a cervix is either).

This is normal, of course, but it's just that Kelli is doing all this a couple of weeks early, so....we've got to go on bed rest ( I say WE but it's not ME).

So, you have a short cervix...big deal, we all know it's not the length of your cervix, per se, but how you use it, that's important.

So....bed rest is alot of fun...watching TV, reading, surfing the internet, letting Charlie lay on you like a personal Sealy Posturepedic....

Also, thanks to everyone who has called Kelli and have come by to visit her. She LOVES to have visitors and to receive calls. Really...thanks...it keeps her sane, which keeps me sane.

Bed Rest for Kelli means that there is NO REST for Mr. David....which is fine because it's the least I could do for my baby...but dude, it's a lot of stuff. Christmas shopping, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning....my manicure is already starting to wear off....this is ridiculous.

But really, it's kinda fun for me because I feel like I'm on a mission now. I mean, I am unstoppable...I have a purpose. I cook, I clean, I'm lean (not really...) and I'm mean (yes Sara, I know I'm mean now), I fight skunk smells wherever they are found....I am...Super Dirt Farmer!

I have learned a few things about myself while Kelli's been on bed rest. My Top 15 are:

1) I can do stuff...as long as we do it my way.
2) I'm a big baby.
3) Grocery shopping is actually okay if you just g o s l o w a n d b r o w s e . There are a lot of kinds of canned tomato things...paste, sauce, diced, sliced, whole...good grief. Not even peaches get this much attention, and peaches taste a thousand times better than tomatoes.
4) I like kitchen soaps that smell really flowery (that Mexican soap is awesome...but probably contains jet fuel or something.)
5) The Microwave Oven is one of the finest inventions of the 20th century.
6) I hate to put up clothes...washing..ok, drying...ok, folding...ok, but I fail miserably at the put up. Man I hate the put up.
7) I'm good at loading the dishwasher, and actually don't mind loading or putting up the dishes, excepts for the pots and pans. Why are dishwashers so loud? Seriously...can we get this technology fixed?
8) I'm glad we have a maid to wash stuff like the bathroom floor and the shower....those places are horribly nasty...which doesn't really say much about my own cleanliness. Of course I blame Kelli. She's filthy. You know this.
9) I cannot fold fitted sheets....I suppose there is a way to do it, but I don't know how to do it. Bonus....I don't care if there is a way...my head is too full....no room left for knowing how to fold a fitted sheet. To hell with it. I hate you fitted sheet. A lot.
10) If you wash a red towel in a load of whites, the whites will turn pink. Also, if you think you're some kind of smart guy and pour a bunch of bleach in the whites after they have turned pink, thinking they will turn back to white, you are wrong. Bleach just turns things yellow. So, just deal with pink things like I have....like underwear...which are now yellow.
11) If you buy your wife a recliner in her 5th month of pregnancy because you predicted that she will really want to sit in a recliner as she gets larger month by month...you are a genius. Congratulations, you may be granted a spot in the Husband Hall of Fame.
12) After the babies come, the recliner can go in your office in the new house and can be used for reading and naps. Again, you are a genius....but not that much of one because with the Deuce, there will be no sleeping. Close but not close enough.
13) The amount of toilet paper that is used in this house now is roughly equivalent to the amount of toilet paper used by the entire city of Rio de Janeiro last year. We are actually looking into purchasing technology that will allow us to make our own toilet paper. Again...genius.
14) When your wife is laying down and you are up decorating the Christmas tree, and you run across some ornaments that you never really liked....just keep them in the box and don't put them up....she will never know, unless you post what you have done on a very popular blog. If you do this, then you are not smart.
15) When your wife is pregnant, and wants to watch the movie, The Notebook, do not let her watch it. This movie is what I call a "cry-generator". Almost every scene in this movie causes extreme crying in pregnant women, especially those named Kelli Karr. Trust me, ban this movie from your tv room...it is not fun.

That's it....my top 15 things I've learned since Kelli went on bed rest.

..and speaking of bed rest, it's time for me to get some rest myself.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope we talk to you very soon.

Babies will be here in 6 or 7 weeks. Can't wait! Love those babies...

Have a Merry Christmas, and may your life and the lives of your family members be as blessed as ours have been this year.

Thank you for being our friends and caring and praying for us. You all are too wonderful for words, and are so much better friends than we deserve.

We love you and if we can ever do anything for you, please don't hesitate to let us know.

--D and K and CB and the Deuce.

Post 17

The Belly ---now appearing...almost LIVE!

Doesn't she just look awesome!

Sooooo many people say that Kelli's Belly looks so little.....

BUT....

Per the K-Dog, and I quote, "For those of you that think my belly is so little....TRY CARRYING IT AROUND ALL DAY"

Isn't she cute...like a little rabid badger?

Check out CB in his new Christmas sweater with his green squeaky bone (which he broke within the first 5 minutes of having it....go figure).

Charlie rocks. 'Nuf said.

Thanks for stopping by.

Post 16

9 Weeks.

That's right, we have 9 weeks to go.

That means that in 9 weeks, we will have two little micros here on the dirt farm cranking through diapers, blankets, wipes, and God knows what else. I better stock up on beer.

Lord have mercy on us.

I had always heard that pregnant couples get to this point where they realize that the BABIES WILL BE COMING SOON, and the notion that there will indeed be babies living with you moves from a "long ways away" time to a hard reality that yes, the babies are indeed going to be here...soon....yessirree...they are definitely going to be here. The clock is ticking.

For me, that time was this weekend.

We went to BRU (Babies-R-Us, for those not having experienced the wonder that it is) and it was different from the last time we were there. There was a very real sense of urgency this time.

It's kinda like what it might be like to visit the grocery store knowing there is a Category 5 hurricane bearing down on you, and there you are, in the store, not just looking for some different kind of croutons like you did last week, but searching for the things you need to SURVIVE! Yes, that's what it was like....we needed to get the stuff we will need to MAKE IT THROUGH.

It was a little nerve-racking....and guess what? Fear makes you learn very quickly.

I am learning more every day about this baby stuff.

For instance, did you know that onesies are basically underwear for babies? I didn't know that until this weekend. I thought it was a shirt/shorts combo deal, but turns out it's an underwear. So if you see a baby walking around your office in a onesie, you could say "Hey you're in your underwear baby" and you'd be right...because it's underwear...not a shirt.

I think it'd be cool if they made men's clothes like that...if they made a nice dress shirt or, really, any kind of shirt, where at the bottom, it turned into an underwear. That'd be genius. That's Nobel Prize material right there folks. You'd never have any problems with your shirt coming untucked and you could get dressed in the morning that much faster. Yes, we need men's onesies. All you'd need are a onesie and a pants and shazam....you're done bro. You're ready to roll. I hope you knuckleheads at Dockers are reading this blog because it's a gold mine. First we had the expando-belt and now the men's onesie. I am an idea factory!

I also learned that baby sizes are weird. For instance, did you know that baby clothes are sized by year, not by some actual physical unit of measurement like inches? What's even weirder is that a very small onesie is a size "0 to 6 months"....BUT....a size "Newborn" onesie is even smaller.

So what this means is that Newborn is actually younger than 0 (zero) months old, which frankly blows my mind a little. If you ask me, I'd say that anything less than 0 months old is PRE-BORN, not newborn. Seriously, unless Kelli was with me and she told me to go get a onesie for the new babies, I'd get "0 to 6 months" size onesie because, guess what, that is the age range our little punkin' heads fit into....not less than zero. For those of you familiar with our friend the Number Line, less than zero is negative.

Stupid baby clothes people. Quit making things hard on people who aren't getting any sleep anyway.

LIke I said, learning baby stuff is fun. Last week we went to baby class (Twins Class) and I learned that 1) the best way to hold your baby while you're walking is to hold her like a football, which I did NOT know, and I also learned that 2) the reason they have so many types of bottle nipples at the BRU is that the idea is to buy a bottle nipple that is shaped like Mama's real-life nipple, so the baby is fooled into thinking that it's really Mama, and not a bottle. Clearly, this is brilliant.

I had no idea! Of course, now I understand why they have this giant wall of bottle nipples at the BRU! When we went to BRU for the first time, there were all these women just staring at the wall of nipples, really analyzing and studying the nipples and there I was wondering "What the heck are they staring at? Aren't they all the same?" Well no, they are not.

Which leads me to think...if Mom's needed a nipple-matching expert, why didn't they bring good ol' Dad in to match the nipples up? No one looks at his wife's boobs more than Dad. Like I said...I'm an idea factory.....and at this rate, will probably be writing this next post from jail if I keep this up.



So....how was your Thanksgiving? We went up to Missouri to visit the fam damily. Everybody is doing well, meaning, they're all as nuts as they ever were.

We had a lot of fun visiting and yammering, and Mamaw had a great time whipping our butts at ChickenFoot every night. Personally I think she's using loaded dominoes. We set Mom's wireless router up for her laptop, then broke into her neighbor's wireless network, which he had so preciously named "Jeff'sB*tch" (very nice!) and in the morning, everyone enjoyed taking 2 minute showers before the water got cold. Oh well....it works ok...one day you wash the top, and the next day you wash the bottom.

We went into town and hunted for antiques, met some weird people at the fudge/stained glass store who were vociferously arguing about the merits of applying your own coloring to white Christmas light bulbs, or just going to WalMart for "store-colored" lights (yes, it was riveting and scary all at the same time), we put up some smoke detectors for Mamaw (and tested them), then watched the neighbor get his 4-wheeler repossessed by the bank. We also took some serious naps on the La-Z-Boy in the living room. It was awesome....I love my family....they are some very wonderfully nice people, which makes me wonder how I turned out how I did. Oh well, even statistics allows for errors every now and then.

Charles is doing well. Kelli and I drove up with Charlie and of course, Charlie never ONCE offered to drive. He just expects us to chaeufeur him around wherever we go. Whatever. I'm so sick of his a-hole attitude. Seriously....can't you even offer? All he does is sleep and go potty....oh wait, that's Kelli.

Speaking of pets...they made us watch the dreaded Multiple Birth Video in the baby class.

Some things aren't meant to be filmed.

I know, they say it's a miracle, and I suppose it is. I was thinking it was a miracle the kids even made it through the thick jungle forest if you know what I mean...and then one of the girls in the class cleverly asked if they shave you before the birth! Hello! If that woman on the video was post-shave, then we just saw the first ever Sasquatch live birth ever recorded. Good grief woman...can I get a bottle of Nair, STAT! Grrrrr-illa!

Oh that was horrible.... I know.....but it was funny for me.

Sasquatch...that's just funny. I can't get it out of my mind...

Anywho....learning stuff about babies is fun.

So how's Kelli doing? Kelli is doing great! Sure she's tired and miserable, and has heartburn and feels like a blimp, but that's what we call "normal" around here. She really looks great....feels poorly, but looks awesome.

We're at the point where we just sit around and watch the Deuce move around in her belly all the time. That is some freaky-deeky stuff. They are both about 2lbs 9 oz each, and are symmetrical, healthy babies. We are blessed by God beyond what we deserve. Truly, it is a miracle.

So it's getting late, and it's time for me to hit the sack so I can wake back up when Kelli gets up to pee every hour. Poor devil...and poor Kelli too. :)

We will get a belly pic up here tomorrow, and maybe I can tell some funny stories about how she can't pick anything up off the floor anymore because she's my little personal Santa.

Thanks for stopping by.