Post 37

You know, sometimes you just get it right.

These girls, I tell you, are just the cutest darn little monkeys you've ever seen.

Take for instance, this picture.




This makes me laugh a lot. Like right now, I'm laughing as I type this. Yes, I'm still laughing.

It's just the greatest picture, because, well, it's marked up and that's funny for me, but really it shows their personalities.

You have Mad Dog, who is always looking pensive with her very clever and progressive goat and spectacles, and Boo Bear, just out there in the world, waving HOWDY DOO TO YOU with her shiny drool-coated double-chin, handlebar moustache, and the always-funny alien antennae. Plus, the evil spikey eyebrows gives her that mishievous look.

Oh man, I'm still laughing.

Thought I'd share.

Ok, I just scrolled up and I'm laughing again.

How much fun are we going to have with these little ding-dongs?!

See ya.

Post 34

Well, for some reason we skipped Post 34, so I thought I'd reach back and call this one Post 34...so here goes...

How ya doin'?

We're great!

Last night...6 1/ 2 hours of sleep for the peapods.

'nuf said.

I am assuming this will continue until they start teething. Oh well...we're hardened, grisly ol' non-sleepers now, so it won't matter.

Thanks for stopping by.

By the way (no I won't use your stupid little text message acronyms either), my sister Jackie is what many people might call an "artistic" person, being that she's had artism for many years. She has stolen some photos that belong to ME and used them to create some very cute collages for the girls' posterior, or something like that.

Here are them (yes she got the brains, and I got the looks):

Post 36

Well just wanted to practice making a blog post more than once per month...so here goes.

How's it going for you?

Things here are going pretty well. Tuesday night I had the girls all to my self for a few hours which was like juggling chainsaws on a tightrope....not for those lacking intrepidity. Yes, intrepidity, that is what I call an SAT word....you know, one of those words you learned in high school while preparing for the SAT test, where you stuffed it in your brain, held it there for a few weeks, then puked it out during the test.

Point being, it was scary as hell for me.

But.......

That night, the girls slept 7 1/2 hours, which is a personal best for them, and quite frankly is the most sleep Kelli has had in quite a while. Of course we woke up wondering if 1) the monitor was off and 2) we had killed the kids. But...after hauling a$$ upstairs to check, they were both sound asleep! Until...you guessed it, I walked out the door...after that, it was GO TIME. Unreal....7 1/2 hours!



So we thought it was an anomaly, in that Boo is a bit under the weather for some reason, but guess what, last night they slept almost 7 hours! Again, we thought we'd killed them, but we hadn't, and they were sleeping little buggers. Again, unbelievable. Clearly we are child-rearing experts beyond reproach....clearly.



Of course, we have now set ourselves up for a big disappointment for tonight, expecting they will again sleep through the night...well who knows but you can bet we will be crossing our fingers and toes.



Oh, I almost forgot, we had a world record poo yesterday from Boo Butt. Kelli even called me at the office to let me know how big it was....I know....that's nice of her isn't it? ("Just a second guys, my wife is describing this giant bowel movement my daughter just had...."). Yes, we are ready for the country club, no doubt. Back to the poo....Kelli said she had poo from her knees up to her shoulders, which I doubted at first, but, alas, Kelli saved the clothes as proof of the mammoth poo (not like it's going to wash out, and not like we're going to try...yama hama!) and yes, I can tell you, there was poo from shoulder to knee on that child. That's impressive, both from a coverage perspective, but it's also impressive volume and must have required tremendous head pressure...to be able to poo like that takes an incredible force....and the hydraulics of it are impressive as well...but if anyone can do it, it's Boo Belle with the Poo Smell.



So...that's the news from the homefront. Pretty much sleeping and pooing...that's the exciting life we lead over here at the New and Improved Dirt Farm Annex #1. I know, we used to read books, go shopping, look at flowers...but now we just sit and hold little people that eat, sleep, and poop....and we love every minute of it (on average, I guess).



...and in case you were ever wondering why Kelli and I went through all this in vitro, bedrest, NICU, etc...well, here it (they) is (are).





Mad Dog
Boo Belle

Aren't they cute little monsters? Don't you just want to eat them they're so cute!? Let me warn you, though, like all vegetables, make sure you wash the before you eat them.

Thanks for stopping by.

Post 35

Hey there party people.

Ok, so I've been a little B U S Y with 1) moving into a new house, 2) starting a new job, and 3) keeping the Deuce alive....and Kelli and I too...somewhat.

...and yes, to quote one of my faithful blog viewers, "no new posts makes for a dull boy. Spice it up dad, blog-land is getting really bored here..." I say, I'm sorry....I will get right to it.

So...what's happening with you?

Not much here....just moved into our new house (Adios Dirt Farm!) which is fantastic (I love that new house smell, all the chemicals from the new carpet, paint, and appliances...it's a wonderful world we live in!). I also started a new job, which has been stressful but is GREAT!, and Kelli is settling into her new job as a full-time mom, and the babies are really doing well, for the most part...you know, it's hard being little.

I say "for the most part" because, well, they're starting to smile now, which is just so cute and wonderful, and Maddie (also known as "Wiggles") has started to learn how to chew on her hand to soothe herself (no, this doesn't work for adults, so don't try it) and Izzie, who we now call Boo, just struggles to keep her giant Karr head from falling forward, backward (her preferred location), to the right, or to the left. Fortunately for her, if her head falls forward it doesn't really have much room to move in that chin #1 and chin #2 are there to keep it propped up.

The only problem is that if her head does happen to fall forward, she has no chance of pulling it up because the sticky dried formula gooey goo yuck mess adheres chin #1to chin #2 like some kind of baby venus-flytrap. Poor Boo Bell, she's such a pudgy little girl...this weekend, Kelli and I found that she has "feet fat"...she has a thick layer of baby fat on the tops of her feet, and she also has forehead fat too...I'd say those two places are the last refuge for fat storage...I'm not sure where we can go from here with this.



She's a happy little feller though, and it's nice to get some positive feedback every now and then, as opposed to the feedback we have been used to getting which has typically consisted of crying, both soft and loud types, moaning, burping, farting, and throwing-up and/or a combo of any of the above. The other day Boo both burped, belched, and farted all at the same time, which was followed immediately by a big grin.....that's my girl! It was quite impressive, and disgusting all at once. Now I realize how Kelli must feel being my wife...impressed and disgusted all at the same time.

As for Maddie, well, she has what Kelli and I call "a look of serious concern". She's definitely the sensitive type, who likes to have her little routine, and likes to have everything "just right" for her little world to be a happy one...and will definitely let you know if she's having a problem, which is pretty much all the time.
Case in point...



Now, of course, everytime I see this picture, I laugh very loudly, much like you may be doing now. It's not that it's all that cute, but she just looks like such a sad little bugger, yet cute too, all the while sporting that Vincent D'Onofrio buzzcut from Full Metal Jacket (or John Candy from Stripes). This pic's got it all...humor, sadness, cuteness, and a weird haircut.



Man he looks creepy...

So anyway....we're all doing ok. Kelli is really pulling the superhero moves here. She's a force to be reckoned with...she will flat do whatever it takes to get those babies feeling good, and it's really impressive. She is a very good mother to our little baby girls. How she does what she does is amazing to me....and I know, because tonight I had to manage them both.

...and that was F U N....we started with Boo in a full "Daddy I'm Sick" cry, you know, the one where you have no idea what is causing it, and the more you try to soothe her, the more she cries? Well, I put her in one of our 74 bouncy chairs and was praying that she'd stop crying, when Wiggle started in with her moan...louder moan...grunt...groan...spurts of crying...then full crying, with pouty bottom lip and all..while Boo was in a full F5 tornado cry/scream, and all I could do was just focus, pray, and start doing SOMETHING!

You see, with twins, when they both go off, it's tough, because you can't hold both of them and hold a pacifier in their mouths/feed them, etc., because there are two of them and only two or fewer of your arms/hands (check for yourself...it's true). So you have to decide who you're going to work on first and who is going to get to cry...and this is very tough. Hearing your baby cry is not pleasant...it makes me sad and mad and panicky all at the same time.

(What is weird is what I call the "Phantom Cry", where you think you hear a baby crying, but it's something else, like the TV, a large mouse, or a squeaky Conestoga wagon wheel...or maybe it's your own cries as you ponder when you will ever get more than five hours of sleep).

I am sure somewhere in the human genome, there exists a gene that triggers a person to respond to a crying baby. The sound of it elicits a response that can't be ignored, and even Charlie responds to it. He doesn't like it when the girls cry, however, he's not much help, mainly because his paws can't hold a bottle or a baby, or even a beer. Tonight was no different, and of course, true to form, Charlie was of absolutely no help...however, if I had asked him to immediatley start licking himself, he'd have been there. Darn Charlie dog....but we love him anyway.

Here he is hogging Bouncy #32 but he doesn't enjoy the music and vibration like the girls do...he's so sensitive.



So...I managed to keep the girls alive and relatively unharmed for a few hours, which to me was an impressive feat, (much like when I manage to clean, dry, fold, and put up (you know I hate the put up) an entire load of laundry, when Kelli does this without even thinking about it, but for some reason I see it as a Nobel Prize-worthy event), however Kelli takes care of BOTH babies all day, every day...and I have no idea how she does it. Truly, I have no idea. I can make buildings stand up, but taking care of two babies....is beyond me. Kelli is my hero.

Anywho....better close for now. I will try try try to put posts up more often...things are finally starting to plane out here, and we're down to only 4 or 5 boxes left to unpack...unfortunately one of them has my underwear in it. Maybe the movers stole them...and yes, I am not too proud to tell you I put my underwear in a box, but only when we move.

See ya.

Thanks for stopping by.