Post 40

Well folks...what's the dealio with you?

I'm just sitting here in my office on the 18th floor of Galleria Tower III, overlooking the lemmings driving to work in their "shiny metal boxes" (sorry, I had the Police on the iPod this a.m.) and, after having read a very nice comment from my old RRHS friend Nancy Lively regarding the blog and the monsters, I thought I'd "put out some more product" so you all would have something to read besides the stupid newspaper, Sodoku (I guess that's how you spell it), or one of the internets.

You see I'm supposed to be reading comments from our attorneys on a contract for (insert boring and esoteric real estate topic here) but I've decided to get hopped up on Starbuck's (Italian Roast is delicious, even though it's not freshly ground) and write a blog post, ie, the crazy ramblings of a dude with collar points in his shirt whose ADHD meds haven't kicked in yet this morning. I don't know if it's the approaching very scary-looking weather which, for some reason, makes everyone hyper, including me, or the fact that everyone's on vacation today but me, and, well, these Baker Botts comments (all 40 pages) don't seem to be an extremely compelling use of my time right now...I must say that if I made $850 per hour (yes that's what the lawyers make) I'd probably NOT be writing this but would be reading THAT.

But............let's roll into this.

So how's it going?

Everything's good here. Kelli's doing great, and her hair seems to be leaving her scalp at an ever-decreasing rate versus its previous rate of departure which was borderline Chernobyl-victim'ish. I know she (really me) is thankful for that. Like I've said in previous posts, hormones, to me, are the breath of God, and they control everything, and, like they say in El Buen Libro, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and I guess that goes for hair too. Thanks Uncle Hormones for stopping the "taketh away".

Speaking of hair, the girls are finally growing some hair, as the Big Man I suppose is in "giveth" mode right now (mainly because he’s already done some takething as the Deuce both have some wicked bald spots from lying around doing nuthin’). I’m glad to see it, and it was really just a matter of time, in that the Big Hair genes are definitely present in my own gene pool. In fact, my hair is what I’d call “aggressive” in that I have the opposite of a “receding” hair line…my hair line is actually “encroaching” or maybe even “invading”. I’m not sure that “encroach” or “invade” are truly the best antonyms for “recede” but again, coupled with its aggressive nature, these words certainly send the right message. My hair actually grows down onto my forehead towards my eyes, so, I suppose, eventually, if left unchecked, I’d be a Sasquatch, at least the face part anyway…I guess I’d be a face Sasquatch. No, I don't mean it just grows long and covers my forehead, I mean on some mornings, I get up and actually no kidding have a new hair that's sticking out of the middle of my forehead, and it's an inch long or more! Yes, I’m a disgusting animal, I know.

So the girls shouldn’t have any trouble growing a bunch of hair, in that I have hair, and Kelli has hair too, so, I mean, we’re not launching rockets over here…the girls should be ok for hair.

Now as for personality…well, that goes without saying. They already have that…speaking of which, our little Mad Dog, and it turns out that nickname is quite appropriate for our young Skywalker, has quite a temper, and, it seems, is quite clever in combining all the required ingredients for a “temper tantrum” (or what we lovingly call a “bitch fit”) those being the lip pout, sad eyes, cry, feet kick, and hand pump…and yes, I’ve seen the video and it wasn’t pretty. Kelli said she had to smack her little diaper-covered micro-butt with a flyswatter (yes, we are very classy people as we keep a flyswatter in the living room….) to keep her in check, which, of course didn’t work as our monsters have about 5 active brain functions, understanding remorse after being punished NOT being 1 of the 5. So, point being, Mad Dog is showing herself to be, as Kelli so aptly put it last night over our dinner of Fritos, beer, and a cookie, “clever, impatient, and high maintenance…just like her Dad”. But of course!

What? You’ve never enjoyed the culinary delights of Fritos, Shiner Bock, and a cookie for dinner? Well….come over any time. We call it the Carnival Diet, for obvious reasons, and I’m sure those “Mothers of Multiples” reading this can attest, is quite common amongst the “dually-childrened”. We’re saving up some dough for a Cotton Candy machine next month.

Anywho…the girls are doing great. Maddie has learned to roll over, which is great and fun to watch, that is, until she gets extremely annoyed that it’s rather boring lying on her stomach and having to hold up her giant head. Boo, I don’t think, is quite ready to roll over, but she’s mastered the lay-down, and really doesn’t mind being on her tummy either, even though her head probably weighs as much as the remainder of her body. My Granny Karr cemented it when she declared, upon first seeing Boo, “that’s definitely a Karr head”. So, there you have it…she has a Karr head. Poor monkey.

…and yes they are sleeping….

They hit the sack about 7:30 (in the P.M.) and wake up around 7:00 (in the A.M.) and don’t really quite go nuts in the middle of the night like they used to. This is WONDERFUL! I hear they are pretty well behaved during the day, except for Mad Dog being a grumpy pants. Boo Boo is just a happy little monster, until it’s time to go to sleep, at which point the sky opens up and Satan flies down and takes over her body for an hour or so….then Satan gets tired, drops his pacifier, and succumbs to the soothing sounds of Beethoven emanating from the “crazy-ass” mobile that hangs above Boo’s crib (aka, the House of Pain). Well, she sure looks like a sweet girl when she’s laying there asleep…poor little Boo.

I wonder if electronic beeps and bonks in the form of Beethoven played on a $5 Casio keyboard being heard through a $2 tinny speaker continuously for 10 hours a day is going to warp their little brains?

I guess we’ll find out…cuz if it helps them sleep…well….I’m all over it.

Ok….time to get to work....and no I'm still not going to read those lawyer comments. Maybe I'll see something shiny and can stare at it for a few minutes...(come on Aderrall....kick it in).

Thanks for stopping by. See you next time.